August 2009
20 posts
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“A word to the wise ain’t necessary — it’s the stupid ones that...”
– Bill Cosby
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“The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.”
– Anonymous
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Makers and Progenies. Sounds Like a Fucking Dan...
Can you shed more light on the relationship between a vampire and his/her maker? For example, is the maker ever responsible for the actions of the vampire he/she created? Is there any punishment if a vampire kills his/her maker or vice versa?
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When a vampire turns a human, a bond between them is created. This bond cannot be broken; it is eternally strong and may be called upon by the...
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“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
– Noel Coward
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“The ideals which have always shone before me and filled me with the joy of...”
– Albert Einstein
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“Stupidity isn’t punishable by death. If it was, there would be a hell of a...”
– Anita Blake
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Facebook →
Who was the idiot who told me Facebook would cure my boredom?
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“It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law.”
– Thomas Hobbes
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Mainstreaming fucktard.
Dear Charles, I mean Dear Magister, I am the distraught maker of one. My progeny insists on denying his true nature as Vampire and has chosen to fall in love with a….human. I devoted 73 years of his death to raising him and this is how he repays me? Recently, I was called by an associate of his to pay him a visit and ‘detain’ him in his hotel room. When I arrived, I was...
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“Judgement, not passion, should prevail.”
– Epicharmus
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“It is madness for sheep to talk peace with a wolf.”
– Thomas Fuller
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Dallas, Dallas, it's always fucking Dallas.
Advice, please.
I’m currently bein’ held in the basement of a Fellowship of the Sun Church here in Dallas. Reason bein’ is that I agreed with a vampire, who’ll remain nameless, that I’d come to Dallas to help him locate a missin’ Vampire Sheriff.
So I get to Dallas, and the only real way for me to figure out where this missin’ Sheriff is is to go...
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They always say the first one is a doozy
Question: Why did the vampire cross the road?
Love, Tuna Cheese Casserole
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To eat your heifer ass, you fucknut.
No love, The Magister
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“Stupidity is the devil. Look in the eye of a chicken and you’ll know....”
– Werner Herzog
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@VampireMagister on Twitter →
Serving up justice in 140 characters or fucking less.
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Indeed.
Good evening.
The livestock requested that I set up a website. Why must I kowtow to the adoring masses, you ask? I have no fucking clue. Perhaps it will better serve me as a resource for keeping track of claims and punishments.
Here, you may submit a claim against a vampire or ask ‘nicely’ for vampire legal advice if you so choose. You may submit something that will garner my special...
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