Good evening.
The livestock requested that I set up a website. Why must I kowtow to the adoring masses, you ask? I have no fucking clue. Perhaps it will better serve me as a resource for keeping track of claims and punishments.
Here, you may submit a claim against a vampire or ask ‘nicely’ for vampire legal advice if you so choose. You may submit something that will garner my special ‘Fucktard of the Night’ award. Whatever you choose, do it on the fucking right page.
Are you following me on twitter and Facebook? If you are not, why the fuck aren’t you?
I must take my leave now. Until next time, livestock.
- The Magister